Middle Earth, meet Kirk
by GeekOfAwesome
Summary: I looked for lotr/star trek crossovers and saw none and went "Oh hail no," and wrote this little pile of awesome for you guys. It is rated M for multiple reasons, mostly for later chapters and some language. Eventual Kirk/Legolas. Don't whine about there being no Spirk, kay? Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.
1. Introduction

**Alright, to all you people who are going to post this review ( you know who you are) :**

**~Middle Earth isn't a planet!**

**I am one of the largest Ringers in the world, and YES I know that, but NO I don't care. The whole point of a fan fiction is to create a story BASED on an already existing story, not re-writing the Silmarillion. Got it? Good.**

**I will have gay pairings, mostly because they are mostly only male characters. Don't complain if you are addicted to Spirk or something. Rated M because l will have an eventual lemon, maybe in chapter two, so don't say I didn't warn you... Also rated M for language. Cover your eyes, children.**

**Anyways, I don't feel like writing a long intro, so basically the Enterprise got stuck in a black-hole and the only way to escape was to launch an escape pod with weight in it, and all the red shirts went on strike because they got tired of dying so Spock and Kirk went instead and drama drama. This is the story of what is through that black hole. Set about a year or so after the ring was destroyed.**

Kirk stood shakily, glancing at the wreckage of their escape shuttle. "Well that went well," he muttered. He was in a huge forest, with old gnarled trees and moss growing practically everywhere. "Spock?" He called, walking over the roots of one tree. "Over here, captain." Came the neutral voice of his commander. He soon walked into view with the few supplies they had brought with him. "It would appear that this world does have intelligent life forms," he said, studying his tricorder (Dear Spell-check, you do not tell me that a tricorder is not in the dictionary. Just don't.) "This place certainly doesn't look very developed." Kirk replied, gesturing at the aged forest around him. "Agreed, captain. I would think however that a human, like yourself, would be slightly more happy to be alive." Spock replied. Kirk rolled his eyes. Suddenly, off in the distance, they heard voices. "-came from over here." A British-accented voice was saying. "I wonder what caused it. As long as the forest is still standing though we do not need to worry." Another voice said, deep and husky. Two majestic horses, one white and one brown, came riding into the glen where the two Star Fleet officers were. The horses were not that interesting compared to the riders however.

One was a tall blonde whose hair was long and unnaturally straight. His ears were pointed, making Kirk smile. _If McCoy were here, the jokes would never end. _He wore an odd old-fashioned looking green tunic and white pants. The other rider had shoulder-length wavy brown hair and a small beard. He wore shining armor with a silver tree on it. The pointed-eared one had a bow and arrows strapped to his back, and the other had a long, wicked looking sword. "Who are you?" the blonde asked Kirk. "James Tiberius Kirk of the US Enterprise. This is Commander Spock. Who are you?" He responded, wishing he'd brought a weapon. "I am Legolas, an elf. This is Aragorn, a man and king of Minas Tirith. Is... Spock... an elf as well?" The elf asked. Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am half-human, half vulcan. Not an elf." He answered, managing to be ticked off but not ticked off.

"Why are you here?" Aragorn asked, leaping off of his horse. "Why do you wear such strange clothing?" Kirk glanced down at his clothes. Both he and Spock had gotten rid of the shirts with the Star Fleet insignia on them, in case there were unfriendly aliens inside the black hole. They now both wore a black t-shirt and pants, as well as black boots. "We came here through a hole in space, and these are uniforms. Kinda. It's a long story." Kirk answered, becoming nervous. The elf, he noticed, was quite attractive though. _God, really Kirk? This person-and elf- could kill you in a second and you're thinking about fucking? _"I don't understand the way you speak, nor do I trust you. You say you came from a hole in space? There is no such thing," Aragorn answered. "What the captain says is true." Spock replied, taking a step defensively forward. "And you say you are a Vulcan? I have never heard of such a creature. You do realize that Uruks were once elves as well? Are you yet another frightening production of what evil remains in this world?" The King continued.

"We speak the truth. There are other worlds than your own, Aragorn." Kirk persisted. "We shall continue the questioning later. For now, you will come with us back to the White City." Aragorn said in a demanding tone. Legolas winced. _"N'ndengina ho!"_ (Don't kill him)He said to Aragorn. _"Amin weera." _(I agree) The man responded. Kirk stared. "What language are you speaking in? And I refuse to come with you." He said, standing his ground. "We are speaking in Elvish, and you will come with us." Aragorn replied, approaching with his sword. He leveled it at Kirk's chest. "Legolas." He motioned for the elf, who drew an arrow at Spock. "The statistical likelihood that you will hit me is lessened because of my reflexes. I would not advise it." The Vulcan stated.

It all happened very fast: Legolas fired, Spock dodged it and ran, Aragorn slammed the butt of his sword (hehe, butt) into Kirk's head. Spock was gone, somewhere, running, and Kirk was loaded, unconscious, onto Legolas' horse.

Kirk groaned and opened his eyes. His head ached from being hit, and he felt a sense of loneliness without his Commander nearby, or one of his crew members. His hands were tied behind his back and his ankles, and he was lying inside a tent. Through the flap he could see the two he was unhappy to have made the acquaintance of over by a fire. The Elf stood and walked over to the tent. "Are you alright, _Nikerym?_" He asked. "Nike-what?" Kirk responded. "It means captain. The half-elf called you that, right?" Legolas asked. "Why do you care if I'm alright? You kidnapped me."

"I did not kidnap you. Aragorn did that."

"It still counts if you didn't stop him."

"One does not simply say no to a king, _Nikerym._"

"Just call me Kirk, alright?" Kirk said, shifting so he could sit up on his elbows. The Elf nodded. "Alright, Kirk. I promise that Aragorn will not hurt you. He is afraid of you, and wherever you came from." He said. Kirk nodded and shrugged. "_Lle naa vanima , _Kirk." Legolas said. (No translation this time. Google it and you'll see.) "What?" Kirk asked. "It does not matter. I will brought you food and I have to untie your hands for you to eat. Promise you will not kill me?" The Elf asked. "Yes, I promise," Jim answered dismissively, as long as he would receive food, he would promise anything.

After he finished eating, he felt incredibly exhausted. _Of course, they drugged the damn food. Bastards._ Kirk thought, before resting his head on a comfortable saddle bag. "_Amin n'rangwa edanea, nan' amin mela ho."_He heard these words before he sank into unconsciousness.


	2. Some stuff happens

**Thanks to Golden Feathers Edward for an awesome review that inspired me to keep writing this story. Anyways, sorry for you guys who think that looking up Elvish is difficult, but just go to and most of the ones that I use are there. Keep in mind, I'm a total Viggo fan, I just need some sort of villain. Alright, in this chapter Spock 3 will return and there will probably be some (as GoldenFeathersEdward suggested) overprotective friend crap going on. I wrote this at 1:30 in the morning due to irritating insomnia so enjoy my (probably) complete crack creation! No shit, this makes me feel like a mad doctor bringing some creepy doll to life. Review fairly for smiley face and spocky epicness! :) :)**

Kirk groaned as he remembered where he was. It had been a week since they set up this camp, and he still had no idea why he was there this long, other than that the Elf had been arguing with the "King" Aragorn in that insane Elvish language. Honestly, this seemed like complete fantasy. He had learned he was in Middle Earth as they called it, which he figured was some sort of alternate universe. The forest they were in was called Fangorn, and apparently there were Dwarves, living trees, and half-people called Hobbits.

Overall, Kirk decided the whole thing was a hallucination and he was really in a drug induced coma that included Spock, and a majorly hot elf.

He hadn't thought about the whole bi thing in a while, since he hadn't ever had a real relationship with practically anyone. But he knew he found guys attractive just as much as he was attracted to women. He knew it was weird, but the elf seemed to care for him. Somehow. Legolas, as he was called, always brought him food and cleaned the chafes off of his wrists from the rope. And spoke to him in Elvish, even when he couldn't understand it.

On this particular day, Aragorn left. Once he heard the two arguing again, he just sat back and wished he had popcorn, even though he had no clue what they were saying. Then the King got on his horse and galloped away. Just like that. Kirk sighed, figuring that he left with orders for Legolas to kill him. Feeling his stomach writhe as Legolas came in, he sat up on his elbows.

"Kirk, Aragorn has gone for more men. He says that he saw the other one, the half-elf, nearby and fears that he is dangerous. He dodged one of my arrows, despite my skill. He will return soon." The elf said, and bent down and untied Kirk's hands and ankles. "Why...?" Kirk started, bewildered. His first instinct was to knock him out and run, but he didn't get very far before there was a burst of light and Legolas tumbled to the ground. Spock ran into the tent, holding his phaser. "Captain." He saluted. His hair was mussed, and his shirt ripped.

"Spock, what the fuck? He just released me! I think he's on our side." Jim said, and bent down to check Legolas' pulse. "It was set to stun, sir. And it is highly unlikely he is, since he kidnapped you," Spock reasoned. The blonde elf stirred and looked at Spock with absolute loathing. "_i jukkete? Lle Athuum! Nuuta n'tel'quess!_"He said. (Alright, no translation this time. It's basically is just some cussing, anger. Shield your eyes, young ones!) Spock looked bewildered. "I think he just called you a mud crawler, Spock. And some other things."

"Captain, do I have permission to shoot him again?"

"No."

The Elf looked at Kirk, understanding parts of what they were saying. "_Nikerym, _if you wish to go, I wish to come with you. And if I must, I will form an alliance with the Elendili." He said, standing and eyeing the phaser. "It is logical that you would enable us to be tracked." Spock said.

"Please, Spock. I feel that he will be loyal."

"And I do not feel, but I know he will betray us." Spock replied. "I will not." Legolas insisted. "I will not put you in danger, Jim." The first officer said. Kirk sighed and left the tent, with the Vulcan. Legolas looked wounded, and whispered, _"Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au" _before Spock turned around and shot him again. "He would have followed us," he explained. Kirk nodded, feeling sad. The two took off at a sprint, heading deep into the woods.

* * *

****Legolas awoke with heaviness in his heart. Aragorn would be back, and he would be blamed. And then he'd track the two and kill both of them. Legolas didn't really care about the half-elf, but Kirk was so perfect. He had learned some Elvish, and just when Legolas thought that Aragorn wouldn't kill him, that stupid _Kuu ' Datto _had made himself seen so that Aragorn left to get more men and then had cast some sort of spell over Legolas that made him tired and hurt. He stood shakily.

He would get revenge at the half-elf. No matter what. "_Amin delotha lle." _He muttered to himself, heading into the dark forest, following the subtle tracks.

* * *

****Kirk sat down on a tree root. "You didn't _have _to shoot him again. He's nice, okay? Only reason I survived that past week anyways." He said angrily. "Captain, I believe you have Stockholm syndrome." Spock replied, frowning in his non-frowning way. "No. I'd be in love with _Aragorn _if that was true. Legolas didn't do anything bad to me." Kirk replied, spitting the name.

Spock raised an eyebrow, brushing his hairline. "Captain, we need to focus on the situation. They will undoubtedly track us, and then we will die. We need to find a way out of here. A portal of some kind. While you were in captivity, I used my tricorder to locate one in a former volcanic area. If we can make it there, we'll go back home. But we don't know where we'll end up."

Kirk nodded numbly.

* * *

Legolas sighed, climbing up a tall tree to survey the land. Over at the edge of Fangorn, his elf-eyes spotted the two, sprinting along across the fields. And he saw their destination in the distance, covered in dust and rubble. He had never wanted to go on that journey again, but it seemed it would be necessary.

**Alright, alright. Yes, I promised some slash/lemon whatever in this chapter, but it got slightly more detailed. For one thing, I was listening to epic soundtracks and may have subconsciously added things in this to go with requiem for a dream and Star Trek: Into Darkness theme. -_- Sorry guys! Maybe next chapter they'll get to where they can escape and... well, you'll see.**

**I'm tired. **

**ALSO for the kids back home, here are some very awesome Elvish swear words you can use to insult all the Utaa and Kuu 'Datto without them knowing!**

**Warg Kisser: Otuuk Fe' Saign**

**Mud Crawler: Athuum**

**Fuck: Jukette**

**Ass: Ud**

**Asshole: Ud 'raan**

**Bastard: Kuu 'Datto**

**Prick: Utaa**

**Bitch: Xhan**

**Thank you very much :) **


	3. M-rated chapter, OMG!

**Yes, blah, blah, blah I have no consistency with my uploads. -_- Yes, I know that. But still, for you awpic people who reviewed and favorited this, thank you so much and here is the third chapter.**

**If some parts seem odd, keep in mind I wrote this while listening to "Superluv" by Shane Dawson 3 and random songs from Phantom of the Opera and Nightmare before Christmas, and that sort of affects my frame of mind. I know I have a morbid music taste :) **

**Anyways, here we have more jealousy inspired by Golden Feathers Edward and etc. I'm hinting at a kind of Spirk in this chapter, for you fans out there. Enjoy, as always. **

Kirk groaned. "Spock, slow down. We've been running for days!" The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "We have been running non-consecutively for twenty-three hours. Consecutively, only five. I would think your endurance would be slightly higher."

"Yes well, I've spent the past week laying back and being fed. I might be a little out of shape." Kirk replied, his thoughts flitting slightly to Legolas, the attractive Elf who had cared for him. Spock frowned, guessing at the Captain's thoughts. "Captain, I suggest you forget your captor. You have other people in your life." He said. Kirk looked at him oddly. "Other than you... there's no one right now, unless we can get back."

Spock almost rolled his eyes at the blatant hint he had dropped, but logically did not. They stood and continued to jog lightly across the plains, occasionally stopping to hunt for some kind of edible berry or animal. Kirk continued to think and dream about his Elf, Spock continued to guess his thoughts and suppress the urge to scowl, or cry. The latter was a constant impulse, realizing there was no way Kirk could ever feel the same way about him as he did that stupid creature.

* * *

Legolas sighed, his slender fingers brushing against the footprints in the grass. His straight whitish blond hair was mussed, his eyes determined. It surprised him, his almost animal hunt for his _Melar, _or at least that was what he hoped Kirk would be. The elf didn't like to stop and rest, and his _Lambas _kept him sustained. Although he didn't know it, he was faster than the two and would soon catch up with them, about three-quarters to their destination.

* * *

Kirk sighed. He couldn't sleep. Everywhere he tried to lay, there was a root sticking into his back. And every time he closed his eyes, he almost wanted to be back in that tent, and know that when he opened his eyes Legolas would be watching over him. But there was no more Legolas, only logical as a computer Spock. Kirk stood, and glanced at Spock, asleep on the ground, before walking off a short distance into the woods.

There was a clear lake with little lily-pads scattered across it. The former Captain observed himself in the reflection. His black clothing was dirty and ripped, his hair untidy and matted down with sweat. His eyes, however, still blazed with confidence and a fragile sensitivity. He rolled his eyes at himself. _'I can't stand here all night looking at myself like a teenage girl. I need to get back, but I don't want to. This world is so... beautiful' _He thought. The trees were uncut and beautiful, standing tall against an immensely starry night. "I never get tired of looking at the stars," he murmured to himself.

"And I never get tired of looking at you." Came a soft, accented voice. Legolas stepped out of the forest, graceful as ever. Kirk's eyes widened, and his mouth opened slightly. _'God, he looks like he's glowing' _He thought, giddy with seeing him again. The Elf stepped forward again, gliding across the ground. He took Kirk arms and leaned in almost predatory, claiming Kirk's mouth in a passionate kiss.

(By the way, this is when I heard Point of No Return, if that makes sense for you Phantom fans)

Jim knew he should pull out, get back to Spock, run... something. But his senses were completely overtaken by Legolas' lips and tongue, which wrapped possessively around his own. He made a sort of "Mmph", tugging away slightly. Legolas' grip was still tight on him, which both scared and excited the captain. When they finally separated, Kirk was speechless, weakly cupped in the Elf's hands. He took in a breath. "Legolas..." He started. "_Dina, Nikerym. Amin mela lle..." _The elf whispered in his language seductively. Suddenly, his tone changed. "Where is the half-elf?" He asked roughly.

Kirk didn't know whether or not to respond. "Why do you want to know?"

"I want to know if you have left him to return to me."

"No... I just took a walk. I couldn't sleep," Kirk said, feeling scared by the new, fierce demeanor. "So he is near?" Legolas asked. "I..." Kirk started, before Legolas took him in another kiss, leaving him breathless and weak. And then the Elf was gone, and Kirk fell to the ground, stunned. Then he blinked a few times, realizing what was going to happen.

"Spock!" He yelled, fighting through the branches of trees to get back.

* * *

Spock heard Kirk yell his name and was instantly upright. Just in time to see the Elf leap into their clearing, his eyes wild. He notched an arrow and aimed it at Spock, a fierce scowl on his face. "Why did you take him from me?" He growled. Spock dove just in time for the white-wood arrow to miss him and bury itself in a tree.

"I did not take him, I saved him," Spock responded with a little too much emotion. Kirk stumbled into the clearing. "What the fuck, Legolas?!" He yelled. Legolas lowered his bow. "Kirk, I must do this." Kirk rolled his eyes. "Dammit you guys, this is not some dumb ass melodrama and I am NOT going to be the female character here. Jesus fucking CHRIST! Can't you just get along?" He said hysterically. Spock raised an eyebrow. "That was... shocking." He commented.

"Look, Legolas, you could help us. Maybe even come with us." Kirk said. Legolas shook his head. "My place is here, _Nikerym_, and I invite you to stay. But I must kill this one." He pointed at Spock, who frowned. "God can't you just fucking..." Kirk stopped, his eyes going wide as he tumbled to the ground. Aragorn, behind him, sat on a horse with a dozen riders behind him. His sword hilt had just come down on Kirk's head. Legolas shot another arrow, pinning Spock's shirt to a tree. "Aragorn!" The Elf said, kneeling quickly and then running to Kirk.

Aragorn brushed a strand of hair behind his ear, observing the Elf. "Legolas, take one of the horses and ride with... this," he nudged Kirk's body with the tip of his sword. "Eomer! Tie the half-elf. We'll bring them both back to Minas Tirith, and decide what to do with them there."

* * *

Kirk groaned. He was tired of waking up with a knot in his head from that damn King.

His situation was totally better than his last: He was laying a silky, comfortable bed in a marble room with a balcony. Golden light flickered onto lavish rugs in the center. He was dressed in different clothes, a silvery-blue tunic with three-quarter sleeves and long silver-gray pants. A large wooden door to his side opened, and Legolas walked in.

His face was calm, stoic almost. He wore nearly identical clothes to Kirk, but with leather boots. His hair had two braided strands that connected in the back, and his face was kinder than it had been in the clearing. Kirk honestly didn't know how he felt about Legolas now. He had tried to kill his best friend, anyways. _'For you...' _part of his brain said. Legolas glided across the floor to where Kirk lay, bowing his head gently. "_Melar..._" He whispered. "Legolas..." Kirk said back, his eyes reflecting every bit of confusion and love and anger he had. "Kirk, everything I tried to do was for you." Legolas said. He said this with such certainty, it sounded rehearsed.

Kirk nodded. "I know," he whispered.

Their kiss was by far the best, with Legolas' light-skinned hand supporting Kirk's head, pushing their lips together. Kirk's tongue seemed to have a mind of it's own, entwining around Legolas', battling for a dominance which quickly went to Legolas. He lowered himself onto the bed, kicking off his boots. The silk of their clothes rubbed sensually against the other, each easily feeling the other's hardness. Legolas almost tore Kirk's shirt off, kissing his collarbone. Kirk pulled off the elf's shirt, wrapping his legs around his partner's.

Their pants slipped off quickly, leaving them naked and tangled together. Legolas moved downwards, holding Kirk's length, making him gasp and moan with each new touch. This was so new to him, each sensation bring a strange kind of ecstasy to him. He flipped Legolas over, mimicking his actions with almost the same results. Legolas disliked being on the bottom, and soon moved Kirk under him, allowing his cock to penetrate the captain. Kirk gasped at each thrust, moaning and clenching the bed sheets.

(**Yeah, yeah, very fast sex scene. I'm not good at writing them, so suck it up**)

Afterwards, Kirk lay panting with Legolas next to him, gently playing with Kirk's hair. "_Lle naa vanima." _He said, momentarily forgetting how to speak English.

Kirk smiled, slowly entering a deep and, for the first time in this world, peaceful sleep.

**Yay, this story is actually working out! Okay, prepare for the next chapter from Spock's POV! Yay! Any suggestions, just leave them in the review. It took me like an hour to write this :D And I'm SO glad to be done. I like sleep, you know. **

**Anyways, have an AWESOME day and enjoy the summer, all that. You fanfiction people rock hard. Also, if anyone would like to adopt my other fanfic, Spirk, please PM me about it.**


	4. I'm sorry!

**I'm really sorry, everyone! I know you love my stories :) But I just get tired of them. So, if you want to adopt a story, just PM me. Or just notify me that you're making it and give me credit in the summary, I don't know. I have a lot of ideas for fics, and there will be more soon :) I love you!**


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